“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can seriously help another without helping himself.” –
Charles Dudley Warner, 1873, American essayist, editor, novelist
“Mutual help groups are a powerful and constructive means for people to help themselves and each other. The basic dignity of each human being is expressed in his or her capacity to be involved in a reciprocal helping exchange. Out of this compassion comes cooperation. From this cooperation comes community.” –
Phyllis Silverman, PhD, Dept of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School, from Introduction to the “Self-Help Sourcebook,” 1995, p. 24.
“When I joined my group, I didn’t know I would later be going through a divorce. When I separated, the guys in the group called me frequently to see how I was doing. Those who had been through divorce offered wise suggestions. Everyone was suppportive. I don’t know if I could have gotten through this divorce without my guys.”
Stu Sweetow East Bay Men’s Network member Oakland, CA
“Most of my friends today are my brothers in The New Orleans Men’s Center. I joined this organization in 1994 and my life changed. My small group (clan) of 8 men meet every week and we share from the heart.I respect anyone who knows how to be real and not superficial. I have found that when our group of men meet in a safe, sacred circle, all the character traits I admire are there in clear exposed view.” George Montero NOMC
“Men in peer support groups are able to tell their stories, get their cards away from their chests, find out they’re not entirely alone in this venture called life, and learn to rely on each other in a myriad of very human ways. Men’s peer support groups are one of the best ways to heal what ails us as men.”
Terry Kupers, MD Oakland, CA Author of “Prison Madness: The Mental Health Crisis Behind Bars and What We Must Do About It” and “Revisoning Men’s Lives: Gender, Intimacy and Power.”
Thinking back over the past year and a half, thinking of the many, many men so much like myself, I wonder how those precious souls survive the intensities of changing relationships, deaths, and other losses so prevalent and profound….Men can only find their way in the place of other men. Women can not give us what we need as men, no matter how hard we press them to.”
Dr. Steven Erde The Place, A Resource Center for Men Summit, New Jersey
They didn’t warn me. Many years of work I’ve broken the shell, became “in-touch with” my feelings. Let life move me. Heard their pain. They didn’t warn me.. how exposed it would leave me, like a tortoise without a shell. I expected to find great joy inside, but instead: pain, fear, sadness, and grief. So that’s where I put it, these many years. Sometime I miss: The days of being numb The joy of false confidence The easy of justification The excitement of reckless chaos. Where do I go from here? The thing I despised, the thing I didn’t trust, the thing I feared would expose me the most. This is the answer, the path for me: the undiscovered brothers, my fellow men. connecting to God, through them. The path is slow; the evidence is quiet. It is so easy to forget… But there is no going back.
Martin Brossman Personal Coach Raleigh NC